That was a bizarre and confusing time for us, as nearly every hurtful situation came from Christians and took us totally by surprise. Each hurt added to the one before and eventually they became a stumbling block to one of our sons, who remains skeptical about the church to this day.
Emily not only suffered with the rest of us in those series of hurts, but one of them was actually directed at her in a setting that was intended to be a manifestation of grace. Talk about being blind-sided. Just weeks before that incident, Emily and I together were publicly humiliated after our published interviews with Christian performing artists caused them and us to be unfairly judged.
It was in the very middle of this season that Louis lost his job after 23 years with the same company. We honestly felt like "please kick me" was tattooed to our foreheads.
Though we have moved on and the intensity of those hurts have greatly diminished, my recent encounters with some of those involved have been painful reminders that reconciliation never occurred and our relationships remain strained and awkward.
Emily begins her last year of homeschooling this fall. This will quite likely be the last year that I will be given so much of her time and attention to not only enjoy her companionship, but to impart knowledge and to (hopefully) be a godly influence.
A couple of weeks ago, I pre-ordered Chris Braun's Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds. The timing seems perfect - providential. We may have "moved on" from that difficult season, but I fear that we may also have carried a baggage of wounds with us. I am anxious for Emily and I to study Pastor Braun's book together when it is released later this fall.
According to Pastor Braun (A Brick in the Valley)..."Unpacking Forgiveness presents the beauty of God’s grace and the necessity of forgiveness. But, it also teaches that forgiveness must take place in a way that is consistent with justice. We must move beyond a 'feel-good doctrine of automatic forgiveness.'
My goal with Unpacking Forgiveness was to write a biblical, Christ-centered book that is accessible, but also one that is not trite or superficial. Only Christ and his Word can unpack forgiveness."
7 comments:
I'd like to know how this book is. I hope you'll post a review when you have time to work through it.
Lizzie
Patricia, I'm thankful for your post. And, thanks.
When I started working on this book, I had in mind the picture of someone unpacking a suitcase. It's the metaphor on the front cover.
But, over time, I realized that a suitcase is too simple. Unpacking forgiveness is more like relocating houses. There may be a day when we move, and say, "I'm going beyond this." But, years later we find that there are still some boxes in the basement we never sorted through. (Though I don't know if you have basements on the banks of Pollywog Creek).
I think the main thing is to keep sorting through those things, by God's grace, as they come up. Keep taking pictures of painted buntings and seeing God in all of creation and his grace and beauty.
My prayer (and I was writing out specific prayers about my book last night!) is that my book will be some part of a few people sorting through a couple of boxes, even years after they have been deeply wounded.
Oh that does look like a book that would be beneficial to all of us!
Thanks for sharing it.
Lizzie - I will definitely write a review.
Chris - you are welcome - thank you! No basements on Pollywog Creek (Florida is barely above sea level), but the rest of the metaphor certainly speaks to me. I suspect that once I begin working my way through "Unpacking Forgiveness" I am going to find several boxes of "stuff" that need to be dealt with. Thanks so much for writing a tool that will biblically facilitate that process.
Cathe - so good to have you drop by. This does sound good - which is why I did not hesitate to pre-order it as soon as I could. I'd love to hear how you are doing, dear friend.
I had never heard the term "automatic forgiveness " before. Bet it's a good read.
I am familiar with "automatic forgiveness." It's that "You're a Christian, you must forgive them" kind of forgivenss. But there's no room for healing in such a knee-jerk type of forgiveness. You can't even talk to God about the wounds, because, well, you've forgiven them, right?
I've been too long from your blog, Patricia.
My loss.
Beth@Mommy-Come-Lately
and
TheAccidentalPharisee
I have read the book (Pre-publication copy) and your anticipation will be rewarded. The "unpacking" of this book means gaining a biblical understanding of what true forgiveness is and making sure it is properly applied in our lives. This book will help lots of people. It helped me.
Chip Bernhard
Spring Creek Church
Pewaukee, WI
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