Tuesday

Giving up and Starting over...




Ever feel like you're so far behind in (fill in the blank) that it would be easier to start over or give up? That for every step forward, you stumble back ten?

Me, too.

Months ago, I decided to tackle refinishing and upholstering a chair that belonged to my grandfather. The chair and matching ottoman had been a gift from my mother to her dad before she was married. Unfortunately, the refinishing task was not in my skill set. The chair not only remains in the garage, it's now in pieces.

Remember my painful knees saga?

Three years ago I went to the doctor about my knees. It was like opening Pandora's box. My doctor determined that I first needed my gallbladder removed, but my pre-op EKG indicated that I might have had a heart attack and anesthesia wouldn't put me to sleep for the surgery.

After a nuclear stress test and cardiology consult and my gallbladder was removed, I went back to the doctor with my knees only to discover that I have rheumatoid arthritis, high blood pressure, cysts on my thyroid, and auto-immune lung disease. Within six months I was in the ER with toxic hepatitis and a stress ulcer.

Then last week, a follow-up ultrasound on the thyroid revealed a "non-toxic uninodular goiter" - or so the endocrinology referral states.

And my knees? They still hurt-more than ever.

It may sound crazy (or maybe a merry heart truly is good medicine), but both of those stories make me laugh.

I'm not feeling all that great today, either. After taking my growing pile of meds this morning, I jokingly asked God if I could stop everything, detox my body, and start over with a "cleaned out" version of me. Maybe then my knees wouldn't hurt.

And then I was reminded that that's exactly what He already did for me-when with a broken heart I surrendered my life to Him and fell before the throne of Grace.

I gave up, started over, and He created a "cleaned out" brand new me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, 
he is a new creation. 
The old has passed away; 
behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV)

{Photo)crossing the Caloosahatchee River at sunrise on a foggy new morning last week.