In the light of his face...

If you gaze too long at your circumstances, you will become dizzy and confused. Look to Me, refreshing yourself in My Presence, and your steps will be steady and sure. ~ Sarah Young (Jesus Calling)

It's not been the winter and spring I'd envisioned. Unable to take advantage of the crisp mornings and delightfully cool days that are the hallmark of winter and spring in the deep, deep south, my photography moments have been far fewer than I'd hoped for this season - even more so with a new camera.

But there were days I pushed myself - hard - past the mailbox to the neighbor's fence line or along the creekbank - or even out into the pasture. Never all in one day, but still.

Some may say I'm the depiction of determination. My husband's more inclined to say I'm stubborn or bull-headed. I'm probably a bit of both.

The truth is that if I will just look past the dizziness and confusion of my circumstances, and walk "in the light of (the Lord's) face", my steps are steady and sure, and I can do what I thought  I could not do otherwise...

...little by little - and not necessarily in the direction I had in mind - but with little victories here and there and hope and encouragement for the future.



Blessed are the people who know the festal shout,
who walk, O LORD, in the light of your face
~ Psalm 89:15 ESV

Photos: past the mailbox to the neighbor's fence line, along the creekbank or out into the pasture.

Help...

Tuesday I did something that six months ago I could not have imagined, and for a variety of reasons I'm still trying to untangle, it was humbling and even embarrassing.

I borrowed a walker from my eighty-year-old friend - for me.










It's the morning I dread. I lie in bed - Louis at work - and I wonder how I am going to get up. I wrap the heating pad around my right hand and wrist or under my knees and linger a bit longer - soaking up the healing warmth.

But the longer I stay in the bed, the greater the challenge. I simply must get up, but as I try to stand, my ankles buckle in pain and my knees will neither bend nor straighten.

I struggle with every single step. Lord help me.










I clearly need help. But I am the helper - the giver of care - and asking for help does not come easy.

Tuesday morning I knew I could not be the helper my older friend Joyce needed. I could barely get dressed or brush my hair. I swallowed my pride and called a friend for help.










I asked Joyce if she might have a walker I could borrow, and she led me to her garage and a brand new walker - with tags still hanging from the handles - that for at least three years has been stored - unused.










I helped Joyce get a shower, and my friend Linda took Joyce's dog for a walk, changed the sheets, and later drove Joyce into town.

Linda told me she was dressed in riding shorts when I called her that morning. She'd planned to go bike riding with a neighbor, but the neighbor had just called to say they couldn't make it.

I wonder what I will do now, Linda thought - just as her phone rang again.

It was, of course, the call for help from me.

Out of my distress I called on the LORD;
the LORD answered me and set me free.
(Psalm 118:5 ESV)

I love the LORD, because he has heard
my voice and my pleas for mercy.
Because he inclined his ear to me,
therefore I will call on him as long as I live.
(Psalm 116:1-2 ESV)

Addendum: That was Tuesday. Wednesday morning I got out of bed much easier with the help of the walker and I called my rheumatologist. My current medication regime was obviously not working. Until I go for lab work and see him next month, he wants me to return to the higher doses of prednisone I was taking back in December. It's a mixed blessing. It means having to do all the hard work of coming off prednisone all over again, but the benefits far outweigh the pain and disability I have been experiencing. I'm confident that when I see the doctor next month, we will find a medication regime that will work, but for now, the prednisone is getting me back on my feet.

On this Good Friday, I have much for which to be grateful - beginning and ending at the cross and I will call on my Lord as long as I live.

Photos: Late Tuesday afternoon I pushed myself to wander through the pasture. I'm determined to learn how to use my new camera. The photos are from that rather painful wandering.

Holy Week::Palm Sunday...

“Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” ~ Matthew 21:9


HOSANNA, LOUD HOSANNA

Hosanna, loud hosanna,
the little children sang,
through pillared court and temple
the lovely anthem rang.
To Jesus, who had blessed them
close folded to his breast,
the children sang their praises,
the simplest and the best.

From Olivet they followed mid an exultant crowd,
the victor palm branch waving,
and chanting clear and loud.
The Lord of earth
and heaven rode on in lowly state,
nor scorned that little children
should on his bidding wait.

"Hosanna in the highest!"
that ancient song we sing,
for Christ is our Redeemer,
the Lord of heaven our King.
O may we ever praise him
with heart and life and voice,
and in his blissful presence
eternally rejoice!

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word "darkness" on the walls of his cell." C.S. Lewis

Photo: Brooke Fraser and Hillsong United(Encounter, Miami, August 2009 - a fantastic weekend with two of my favorite young ladies.)

Life's mercies and fair flowers...

Once a week, I visit my eighty-year-old friend.

I walk her dog, help her get a shower,and put clean linens on her bed.

We talk and pray.

And we laugh - a lot - mostly at ourselves.

Sometimes I take her into town for appointments.

Two weeks ago, I forgot about her appointments and drove our truck to her house. Even with a step stool and a running board, it's no easy task for either of us to get her up into my 4-Runner. But with the step stool in the back of the 4-Runner and no running board on the truck, the task proved impossible.

We tried and tried. But she is not strong enough to pull herself up and I am not strong enough to lift her.

My friend held onto her walker, and we stood in the driveway and laughed at ourselves and our predicament.

It was no coincidence that a woman visiting the neighbor next door had watched our struggle from a distance.  She borrowed a step stool from the neighbor she was visiting and helped me get my friend up and into the truck.

As we drove into town, we rejoiced at God's providential care and grace - for seeing and meeting our need before we could even ask.

As I look back on the three years that I've helped my older friend through her disabilities (as well as the season I cared for my mother), God has clearly been preparing me for the specific challenges I face today.

After my diagnosis, I did not think I should write about my struggles with RA here on Pollywog Creek, but the things the Lord has been teaching, correcting, loving, scolding, and encouraging me with I believe are for all of us - whether the challenge is climbing stairs, getting out of bed, raising children, loving difficult people or all the above.

"I must try and cultivate an eye for life's mercies...And life, while it has its ugly swamps, its vile weeds, and its sharp thorns, has always its fair flowers to charm the eye with their beauty, or to fill the air with their fragrance..." ~ Rev. John Flowers Serjeant 1878

To be continued...

I will be back...

I promise.




The best word to describe my days in recent weeks is challenging...

but sweet and rich and resplendent...

and more than sufficient grace for the moment.