The past few days here on Pollywog Creek have been perfectly delightful, but its' felt cruel of me to say so. It's like the spring day my mom died. The air was fresh and cool, bursts of pink dotted the rows of azaleas, and mockingbirds sang into a cloudless cerulean sky. And it made me mad. Because in my heart it was raw and rainy - and it didn't seem fair to my mom that the world around us was rejoicing as she struggled to take her last breaths.
But these days have been so very beautiful, and I'm grateful for the gift of open windows, and air that is fresh...
...and the golden light that paints everything green and yellow.
I sit here now in the quiet darkness of early morning - tapping out my final just one thing thoughts, deeply, truly, grateful for this new day. For most of this journey with RA, I've dreaded the morning - knowing the chances were great that I'd wake in pain, and even the small tasks of pouring a cup of coffee would be difficult. Then I began to dread going to bed at night because restorative sleep was elusive and it only led to the dreaded waking up.
I can't tell you when I stopped all that useless dreading, but I do know that even when I wake exhausted and in pain, it's been replaced by joy - the joy of a new day and new opportunities, the joy of the Lord that strengthens me for the moment and I know will strengthen me to press forward in the day ahead.
So I return to the theme verse I chose for these 31 Days. Paul admits he's not perfect - but he declares this one thing - that he will put the past aside {the wasted days of dreading and struggling with life in a fallen world} and in the new day he will move forward in the work God gives him.
Me, too, Paul. Me, too.
Day 31 - Philippians 3 { I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. - vs 13 }
But these days have been so very beautiful, and I'm grateful for the gift of open windows, and air that is fresh...
...and the golden light that paints everything green and yellow.
I sit here now in the quiet darkness of early morning - tapping out my final just one thing thoughts, deeply, truly, grateful for this new day. For most of this journey with RA, I've dreaded the morning - knowing the chances were great that I'd wake in pain, and even the small tasks of pouring a cup of coffee would be difficult. Then I began to dread going to bed at night because restorative sleep was elusive and it only led to the dreaded waking up.
I can't tell you when I stopped all that useless dreading, but I do know that even when I wake exhausted and in pain, it's been replaced by joy - the joy of a new day and new opportunities, the joy of the Lord that strengthens me for the moment and I know will strengthen me to press forward in the day ahead.
So I return to the theme verse I chose for these 31 Days. Paul admits he's not perfect - but he declares this one thing - that he will put the past aside {the wasted days of dreading and struggling with life in a fallen world} and in the new day he will move forward in the work God gives him.
Me, too, Paul. Me, too.
Day 31 - Philippians 3 { I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. - vs 13 }
