To linger a while {or how to rejoice in disability}...

"What have I gotten myself into?" I thought, when the instructor for the picture book practicum at Blue Ridge asked us to put aside our works in progress and begin something new during our four days together. The picture book practicum was a stretch for me, but I was looking for inspiration and direction for a non-fiction children's project I'd started months ago. 

The instructor was delightful, but when I realized my goal for participating could not be reached, I questioned whether the practicum was for me. Beginning from scratch in an unfamiliar fictional genre was not what I had anticipated, but I decided to accept the challenge, wrestle with the homework, and try to keep up with my more proficient classmates.

By the time my idea for a story took shape, I was already a day behind most of the class, but enthusiastic that the focus of this story idea for a children's book had been formulated from my passion for family caregiving - how God redeems a disability for our good and His glory.  

Lingering in the shade of the sweetgum trees one warm and muggy afternoon last week, I watched the red-bellied woodpecker drink from the birdbath and thought about that story for children and how God always shows me mercies that I might rejoice - even in disability - when I'm flaring and it's much too painful to go for a walk, for it's when I'm forced to be still that I can see and hear and taste His goodness. 

It's where I tend to stumble...

In these days following the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writer's Conference (BRMCWC), I'm revisiting this slightly updated post - one of my most popular posts from last summer - when I compared myself to the writing and photography of others online. At BRMCWC, the tendency was for me to measure my gifts and abilities with the amazing and creative faculty and fellow conference attendees. The feelings of insignificance are the same.

In contrast to my relatively quiet, isolated life in the rural south, I've had the pleasure of meeting and interviewing a variety of well-known personalities, and one of the insights I've gleaned from these relationships is that feelings of insignificance can be common to us all.

It's not that we all want to be famous - we just want to know that whatever it is we are doing - the project(s) in which we are investing our time and energy - are somehow meaningful and not only making a positive difference in our lives, but in the lives of those within our circle of influence.

Every now and then, I catch a glimpse of how far the weight of our words and actions can travel - and it is both encouraging and sobering.

I may feel insignificant - but that's what the enemy wants me to believe. He would like to discourage us in the hope that we will become apathetic and give up our momentary calling - whether it's delivering the mail, writing the next best-selling novel, raising godly children, or running for political office.

One day last summer, I decided to visit the blogs of some of my favorite writers and photographers and send a word of encouragement their way. Some where along that pilgrimage through cyberspace, I began to compare my writing and photography with each of them...and of course, I fell short.

By the time that "journey of encouragement" was over, I was ready to throw away my business cards, sell my camera, delete my blog, and disappear into the isolation of rural life on Pollywog Creek.

I'm sure you know where I stumbled.

When I cease to focus on encouraging others and begin to compare my gifts and the fruit of those gifts with the gifts and fruit of others, I also make false judgements about the value of those gifts and can easily be tempted to feel insignificant and covet.

What I need to remember is that He who began a good work in me (and you) will complete it, that His plans and purposes for all of us are good and perfect for each of us, and that as we stay focused on living a life worthy of our calling, we can be confident that by His grace what we do and who we are, loved and chosen of God, is more than significant.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~ Colossians 3.12-17

What about you? Do you compare your gifts with others? What causes you to feel insignificant?

Week{ending}...

I'm in a self-prescribed and self-scheduled writer's conference rehab this weekend. Seriously. Robbi and I flew home late Thursday night, and for most of the day yesterday I either slept or stared off into the distance. Suitcases, bags, books and shoes remain right where I left them Thursday night. One of my {few} goals for today is to get everything moved into the bedroom where I can unpack.

To those of you who prayed for me while I was away - I cannot thank you enough. This trip - navigating airports, cramped airplanes, a beautiful but hilly Ridgecrest campus, and not enough sleep - was undeniably a challenge, but I made adjustments along the way and with Robbi's help and much prayer, I managed {albeit slowly and breathlessly at times} far better than expected.

If you have "friended" me on facebook you already know, but for the rest of you - Robbi and I were humbled, grateful, and thrilled when No Matter What It's a Good Day When placed 3rd in the unpublished non-fiction category at BRMCWC. From the first day Robbi and I began working on this project months ago, we held it close to our hearts but loosely in our hands. We would love for it to be published for those who would benefit from its encouragement, but we trust in God's sovereignty in all things and know that if publication is His plan, then it will happen in His time.

I'll write more about the conference after everything sinks in and settles a bit. For now, we look forward with much joy and excitement to the week ahead when we will gather with family and friends on Monday to celebrate Memorial Day and again on Wednesday for the birth of Nick and Kristin's baby boy. 

The LORD is good to me.

What do the days ahead hold for you? 

Linking with sweet Sandra's "Still Saturday"...



{Photos - from the trip to Asheville with my point and shoot}

When you can't...

When you can't that's when you can watch what God can do through you. Yvonne Lehman

Basking in the worship, fellowship, and teachings of some of the most gifted and creative brothers and sisters in Christ this week at the Blue Ridge Christian Writer's Conference outside Asheville.  

Meeting my dear friend across the miles - the delightful, beautiful and amazing, Beth Vogt - has been one of many, many highlights I've experienced in this beautiful place tucked in the North Carolina mountains. 

With two and half more days ahead of me, I can only imagine the highlights to come - what God will do through all of us in our places of can't. He is so, so good to His people. 

What about you? 

Thinking about the quote above from author Yvonne Lehman, last night's keynote speaker, I'd love to hear how you have seen God work through you when you knew you'd been called to do something you couldn't.

Woe to him who is alone when he falls...

Two are better than one,
because they have a good reward for their toil.
For if they fall,
one will lift up his fellow.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls
and has not another to lift him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV

In less than a month, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, Robbi  - my critique partner, writing coach, book collaborator, and friend - will be boarding a plane with me headed for Asheville, North Carolina, and the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference. For a multitude of reasons, it's a conference I would not be attending without her.

My friendship with Robbi bears witness to God's sovereignty - from how He brought us together to how He manipulates our circumstances and speaks to us individually, giving us glimpses of His purposes for our writing and confirming our plans. Two truly are better than one.

This will be my first major outing since rheumatoid arthritis, and every now and then I worry about how I will manage the conference. There are days when walking from one room to another in my house is a challenge. How will I ever get from one place to the next away from home - in a large conference venue?

Robbi teasingly suggested roller skates. I told her she'd have to push me - that she could use my cane to prod me along...and just like scripture says, she could lift me up if I fall.

Don't tell anyone, but that could be the title of our next book - Two Are Better Than One.

What about you? Do you have a two-are-better-than-one story?

{Photos - two by themselves not-so-great point-and-shoot photos made lovelier when they were combined into one.}