On learning contentment and cheerful giving...

I’m ashamed to admit this.

When my husband and I were married in the fall of 1976, and I moved into his apartment near the university where he was a student, I brought an $800 credit card debt with me. According to an online calculator, $800 in 1976 would be almost $3400 today.  Among other character flaws, my credit card debt was a reflection of undisciplined spending habits.  

My husband wisely assumed responsibility for our finances. He closed that credit card account after paying it off and established a budget that kept us from spending more than we had coming in – a practice we continued after he graduated from college and our family and income grew.

Though we kept our spending under control for most of the first ten years of our marriage, we never considered including charitable giving in our budget. Neither of us was raised in homes where tithing was a priority, and we didn’t attend a church that emphasized tithing as a spiritual discipline. Our giving practices consisted of placing whatever discretionary money we might have in our wallets at the time into the offering plate as it was passed.

Eight years into our marriage, our budget and standard of living reflected our above average combined incomes, but shortly after the birth of our son Casey and buying a new home, we decided that I should resign from my position as a nursing administrator (with a salary greater than my husband’s and benefits that included a car) to stay home fulltime with our 3 boys – a decision that required drastic changes in our living and spending habits.  

A few weeks later, we were still adjusting to living on less-than-half our previous income when we were convicted about our nearly negligible giving habits. Convinced that tithing was a matter of trust and obedience, we prayerfully decided that in addition to the other changes we were making in our living standards and spending practices, we would begin tithing our gross, before taxes and deductions, income.  

Over thirty year later, it’s a decision my husband never failed to doubt or honor – even when it wasn't easy and often looked impossible, if not foolish, on paper. 

What We Learned From That Decision to Tithe

Tithing acknowledges that we are stewards, not owners, of whatever God has entrusted to our keeping (Deuteronomy 10:14). God owns it all. Tithing whatever we have been trusted to steward demonstrates that we are just conduits of giving a small portion of all that belongs to God.

Stewardship requires accountability (Matthew 25:14-30). We are accountable to God for how we use whatever He has given us. It has motivated us to live frugally, creating margins in our budget that we can not only tithe but be able to give beyond the local church to various charitable organizations and to meet the needs of others as we are led.

Because of that accountability, tithing has caused us to be more thoughtful members of the church. We have intentionally covenanted with a church we believe will use the tithes and offerings of its members for Kingdom goals to the glory of God – knowing that they, too, will be accountable.  

Tithing has been a refining discipline that has consistently brought impurities in our hearts to the surface – revealing our bent toward coveting and selfness as we learned to be content (Philippians 4:11).  

Tithing has been a matter of obedience – not because God needs our money, but because He loves us and wants us to trust in His Sovereignty and His perfect design and will for our lives – knowing that it will teach us more about His character, prove His faithfulness and increase our trust in His provisions.   

Tithing may have been birthed out of a sense of duty, but it grew to be a joy and a privilege. “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV) Tithing has been a catalyst to becoming cheerful givers.

Perhaps the tithe can be a beginning way to acknowledge God as the owner of all things, but it is only a beginning and not an ending.

Richard Foster, Freedom of Simplicity: Finding Harmony in a Complex World

Do you have a tithing story you can share in comments here, or at The High Calling Share Your Story post linked below?

This post is part of The High Calling’s Share Your Story: Tithing Community Link-Up  

The Color of September::Content and Grateful...

{Introduction - Although you are welcome to use my living in yellow list, please know that I wrote it for me. I share a few truths and thoughts not that I think you need them, but that I need them, and writing about them helps me do just that. Part 1, Part 2 }

We buy a new home with inflation-high interest rates, and then I resign from a profitable career in nursing  - with a salary greater than my husband's and perks that include a car. It makes no sense, but we believe it's what God is calling us to do - for me to stay home with the three boys - so we step out on a limb and pray a storm won't bring it {and our little family} down.

It's obvious we need to make major changes in our spending habits, but what I don't know is that the more significant adjustments will be made in me - to remove self-centered and envious desires that had been taking root in a season of prosperity.  And it won't be easy.

Over twenty-five years later, the exact timeline of these events escapes me, but it wasn't long after I exchange my successful and satisfying career for stay-at-home-mothering that we also make huge changes in our giving habits - replacing a token offering with tithing our gross income.

That limb we stepped out on looked more vulnerable than ever, and as I try to reconcile the bank balance with our income, my lack of faith and contentment is revealed when I begin to consider not tithing so that we have more money for ourselves. 

It's not like we really need the money. It never works out on paper, but the limb doesn't break, no matter the storm. We pay our bills on time, and clothe and feed our family. Our healthcare needs are met. We have air-conditioning and a television, and I'm home with the children, but I'm not grateful and content - even with more than enough...and Louis insists we continue tithing. 

I don't remember how long I wrestle with this envy and heart-sickness, but I know that it was too long and miserable, and I remember confessing and asking God to please remove it and to give me a joy and contentment that could only come from Him...and when things aren't enough, grace is abundant, and in His kindness, He does indeed lead me to the contented, grateful life I long to live. 

I am wired by nature to love the same toys that the world loves. I start to fit in. I start to love what others love. I start to call earth "home." Before you know it, I am calling luxeries "needs" and using my money just the way unbelievers do. I begin to forget the war. I don't think much about people perishing. Missions and unreached people drop out of my mind. I stop dreaming about the triumphs of grace. I sink into a secular mind-set that looks first to what man can do, not what God can do. It is a terrible sickness. And I thank God for those who have forced me again and again toward a wartime mind-set.  ~ John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

So why, in this season of life, though we have more disposable income than in those years we struggled, would I want to risk discontentment by changing our lifestyle to reflect that increase? The temptation certainly exists - to consider satisfying our desires for the same toys that the world loves. But I've been there, done that, and I've discovered the greater contentment of been satisfied in what the Lord provides {and sometimes it's one of those toys} and the joy of giving the increase away. 

And you? Have you ever experienced the misery of discontentment and envy?