Settling all past claims...

Cheers to the furrows on our brow To each hard won victory
Cheers to the losses that grew us up
Killed our pride and filled our cup
Brooke Fraser

There can be a bitter-sweetness in the waning moments of the year. The sweet longings and hope for new {and better} days ahead can be tempered by memories of wasted opportunities and regrets of the past - and I tend to remember them all.

It's not always bad to remember. It keeps me humble. Oswald Chambers says this...

 God reminds us of the past to protect us from a very shallow security in the present.

It would be foolish pride for me to say I have no regrets, but humility is not self-flagellating defeat. In My Utmost for His Highest, Chambers goes on to say this...

God's hand reaches back to the past, settling all the claims against our conscience...let the past rest...in the sweet embrace of Christ.

So as I walk into the gift of this new year, I remember opportunities lost that I might "grow up in every way" but with the sure hope that all my days have been redeemed on the cross.

{Photo} New Years Eve fire by the pond

Wrapping up Christmas...

Though some of my friends may have wearied of all the Christmas glitter, I can't seem to get enough this year. Moments of self-pity at my inability to keep up, to go and do, may have sometimes veiled my joy, but it's been a season of slowness that I learned to embrace as a gift - a Christmas of peaceful calm with just enough moments of delightful grandlittle chaos and laughter to overcame the sometimes preschool overwhelmed-with-too-much-Christmas tears.

If it was up to me, I'd linger longer in the joy and music and sparkle of Christmas, but the season of days between Thanksgiving and New Years are coming to a close, so I'll wrap them up like strands of white twinkle lights - in a string of  beautiful, satisfying memories - of days framed in the joy and peace of our Lord.

Today we celebrate the life of a beautiful soul who traveled Home on Christmas Eve. She has been well-loved by family, friends and the community she faithfully served. She worked for the same employer for over sixty years and never fully retired. Her almost nine decades of life was well-lived, and as I approach the new years days ahead, I am inspired by her deep and rich legacy.

How was your Christmas this year? I'd really love to know.

Advent 2011...

{This post has been moved to here: http://pollywogcreek.blogspot.com/p/advent-scripture-and-photos-december-1.html }

The Worst Christmas Ever...

Remember my contest winning story? And the critique and editing by Joe Bunting that was my reward?

Today Joe published the final draft and I'd love for you to click on over to Joe's and let me know what you think.

If you read the first draft, you know that it's not a story with a shiny-red-bow ending, but it's my prayer that it inspires you this Christmas to put relationships before things and savor the time you have with those you love.

{If you haven't subscribed to Joe's blog, this would be a perfect time to do so.}

Expecting a baby...

Christmas morning never comes fast enough - when I speak, think and reason like a child - when waiting to open presents seems an eternity and all my expectations for happiness are wrapped and tied up with curly ribbons.

Happiness that vanishes with the worn-out-newness of each unwrapped present leaves me unfulfilled for the next unopened gift. Disappointment hides in the shadows of every gathering and in every thought not taken captive,

Contentment tied to things or people or events {or the weather} brings empty, joy-less, woe-is-me waiting.

Today I'm expecting a baby and nothing more than the gifts His birth brings. And why not? They are the gifts without measure in a joy-filled celebration that never wears out, never disappoints, never, ever ends.

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

(Psalm 16:11 ESV)

{Photos} our warm Pollywog Creek backyard

{I LOVE} Sunday::to wonder...

“Look among the nations, and see;
wonder and be astounded.
For I am doing a work in your days
that you would not believe if told.
(Habakkuk 1:5 ESV)

Linking with Diedra's beautiful Sunday community...

{Photo} layered photos::grass flower heads

Week{ending}...

My goodness...how time gets away from me. I skipped last weekend's catching-up post altogether, and I'm sure that I'm not nearly as busy as most of you. It's just been steady. A little shopping. Medical tests. Making and keeping doctor appointments. A writing contest I won. Gavin's Pre-K Christmas program. Extended family time. Book brainstorming. Afternoon naps. 

I'm running out of time to polish half a dozen Christmasy drafts - from a post about the least of these and buying Christmas presents to the blessings of embracing the gift of forced slowness.   

Chances are none of them are going up before Christmas, but Jeff Goins' Rediscovering the True Meaning of Christmas and Ann Voskamp's When Christmas Gets Radical - Whose Birthday is it Really express my sentiments more eloquently than I ever could. Please take the time to read both of them.

The writing contest I won? Humbling, intimidating fun. Several months ago I subscribed to Joe Bunting's The Write Practice - a growing community of aspiring writers and an excellent resource for writers desiring to improve their craft. 

Joe's Christmas "Show Off" Writing Contest earlier this month is the first writing "contest" I've ever entered. I honestly don't remember what possessed me to do so this time, but I did, and I won, and Joe is now critiquing my entry, helping me make it shine. As much as I treasure compliments from family and friends, an unbiased evaluation from Joe and his team is a gift. 

Joe will post my polished entry around Christmas next week. I'll link to it when he does, but if you click on over to The Write Practice and get a free email subscription, you'll not only be able to read my story in an email as soon as he posts it, but for a limited time, you will also receive a free copy of Joe's new eBook, 14 Prompts - Practical Writing Prompts that Inspire, and the opportunity to win a free manuscript critique. Very, very cool.

Speaking of "buntings", I'm still waiting on the painted buntings to arrive this year, but I haven't done much to attract them. Those pesky gray squirrels constantly raid the feeders, so I've been reluctant to keep the feeders filled. I looked at squirrel-proof feeders, but the best ones are too expensive for our budget.

But then the coolest thing happened. Without me saying a word about it, a friend gave me her very nice squirrel-proof feeder, saying her husband thought I would enjoy it more than they do. Then yesterday while we were visiting with a relative who is moving to Kentucky today, we noticed her two feeder cages that had been designed to let painted buntings in and keep squirrels out. When I asked her how well they worked, she told me to take them with us when we left because she wasn't going to be able to take them with her to Kentucky.

As of this morning, all the new feeders are up, and I'm having fun watching the squirrels' frustrated efforts to get to the feed. It's a beautiful day here on Pollywog Creek. Maybe I'll see a painted bunting.

What are you delighting in this beautiful day the Lord has made?

{Photos}A foggy pasture sunrise, and a cardinal, mocking bird and Easter garden flowers in my Pollywog Creek back yard.

Giving up and Starting over...

Ever feel like you're so far behind in (fill in the blank) that it would be easier to start over or give up? That for every step forward, you stumble back ten?

Me, too.

Months ago, I decided to tackle refinishing and upholstering a chair that belonged to my grandfather. The chair and matching ottoman had been a gift from my mother to her dad before she was married. Unfortunately, the refinishing task was not in my skill set. The chair not only remains in the garage, it's now in pieces.

Remember my painful knees saga?

Three years ago I went to the doctor about my knees. It was like opening Pandora's box. My doctor determined that I first needed my gallbladder removed, but my pre-op EKG indicated that I might have had a heart attack and anesthesia wouldn't put me to sleep for the surgery.

After a nuclear stress test and cardiology consult and my gallbladder was removed, I went back to the doctor with my knees only to discover that I have rheumatoid arthritis, high blood pressure, cysts on my thyroid, and auto-immune lung disease. Within six months I was in the ER with toxic hepatitis and a stress ulcer.

Then last week, a follow-up ultrasound on the thyroid revealed a "non-toxic uninodular goiter" - or so the endocrinology referral states.

And my knees? They still hurt-more than ever.

It may sound crazy (or maybe a merry heart truly is good medicine), but both of those stories make me laugh.

I'm not feeling all that great today, either. After taking my growing pile of meds this morning, I jokingly asked God if I could stop everything, detox my body, and start over with a "cleaned out" version of me. Maybe then my knees wouldn't hurt.

And then I was reminded that that's exactly what He already did for me-when with a broken heart I surrendered my life to Him and fell before the throne of Grace.

I gave up, started over, and He created a "cleaned out" brand new me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, 
he is a new creation. 
The old has passed away; 
behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV)

{Photo)crossing the Caloosahatchee River at sunrise on a foggy new morning last week.

{I LOVE} Sunday::to praise the name of the LORD...

From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the LORD is to be praised
(Psalm 113:3 ESV)

Linking with Diedra's beautiful Sunday community...

{Photo} December 7, 2011 sunrise off a country road near Pollywog Creek

What if I can't...

"Have you had a stroke?" She had no way of knowing. We'd been out of touch for decades, but her question took me by surprise. Do I really look that bad? I wondered.

In public I'm simply embarrassed.  

I shuffle and hobble, stiff-legged and off balance. In a restaurant, I dread getting up from the table. I'm certain everyone is watching. I'm not that old. I bet they think I'm drunk. 

I survey the shortest path to where we sit in church but it takes me through a door where I imagine that all eyes are on me.  I try to walk faster, but it only accentuates my broken gait. 

At Gavin's party, the other grandmothers wear skates and play with the baby, and the little ones laugh. I sit at the table. I'm grateful it's not far from the restrooms, but the distance between where I sit and where almost everyone else is laughing and playing looks as challenging to me as a marathon. 

I can't skate. I can't play. But I can take pictures. I grab my camera and make my way across the room that gets larger in my eyes with each step. 

~ ~ ~

At brunch with a friend, she tells me that Pollywog Creek is a gift - the photos and family stories. She is sure it is a blessing to many.  And I want to cry. 

"What if I can't take pictures?" I ask. I can barely walk around the backyard, much less venture out to the creek or pasture. It's a monumental task to sit on the ground.

"What if I can't do the one thing I do that people love?"  I bite my lip, but I know my chin is quivering. Crying in a restaurant would only add to my embarrassment. 

My friend is compassionate. I see her tears. But she is also wise - and she reminds me of this: it is God that empowers me to do whatever He wants me to do. 

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?
Or am I trying to please man?
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
(Galatians 1:10 ESV)


{Photo}the goldfinches are coming back to Pollywog Creek - can the painting buntings be here soon?

{I LOVE} Sunday::to consider the steadfast love of the Lord...

Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things;

let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD. 

Psalm 107:43 ESV

Linking with Diedra's Sunday community...

Week{ending} and a bear update...

Nothing about the ending to this past week can compare with last weekend's bear story. The biologist never called and we haven't seen the bear since we left him up a tree Thanksgiving night. It's not the neat ending to our beary good Thanksgiving I like. I'd rather tell you that he was captured and moved - far, far away from Pollywog Creek - and that my greatest critter fear is my grandcat Nickie. 

Speaking of grands, Louis and I rode with Nick and his family up to Bartow on Wednesday to visit Aunt Annette, and on the way up, almost 5 year old Gavin asked from his seat in the back of the van, "How do people make people?" One of the joys of being a mimi is being able to stand back and watch my children parent their children. Relieved that I didn't have to answer Gavin, I wondered with amusement how Nick and Kristin were going to respond. After a few chuckles Nick said, "They don't. God does." And that was the end of that.

We're celebrating Gavin's 5th birthday today. His birthday is the 19th, but for a variety of reasons, today is the best day to party. I haven't wrapped his gift yet - trying to decide if I can get away with using up the "Happy Hannukkah" gift wrap we bought by mistake to wrap his birthday present two years ago. The gift wrap is blue with colorful candles and Gavin won't know the difference. What do you think? Should I use it?

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here on Pollywog Creek. What about where you live? Is your tree up? Your home decorated? What plans do you have for this December weekend?

{photo}that scary grandcat Nickie