Weekend wanderings...

Weekends {are for} Wanderings on Pollywog Creek 

...looking back and catching up

Much of this past week was clouded by a slowly moving tropical system that pushed back sunlight and dumped inches of rain on Pollywog Creek. When storm clouds parted, cool dry, refreshing air replaced the heavyiness of a lingering south Florida summer and the evidence of those inches of tropical nourishment blazed bright and green. Soul food it was. Satisfying and delicious. And for those of us that tend to frizz, it's been the best hair days ever. 

I mentioned it last weekend, but it's worth repeating. My daughter Emily is participating in the HelloSomebody campaign Hello Rwanda to feed and educate 100 boys now living on the streets. This is one of many worthy opportunities for those of us with more than enough to reach out to the least of these. If you are interested in helping Emily with this campaign, please let me know. We both ordered watches this week and they arrived in the mail just yesterday. Emily's is white (she already had a pink one), and mine is navy blue - perfect for someone like me whose basic wardrobe is centered around blue jeans. 

We're celebrating two different family birthdays in different towns this weekend - all in one day. I'll be wearing my HelloSomebody watch (and blue jeans, of course) and delighting in the lavish gift of family, friends and this beautiful weather. I'd love to know how you are celebrating life this weekend. 

{Photos} wee evidence of a tropical nourishment 

From Pew-Warmer to Poverty-Fighter...{a book review}

"I saw a group of people who had the same dreams that I did."

Dan King, The Unlikely Missionary 

When Dan King, a self-described "guy with a regular job and a regular family who sits in the regular church pews", began blogging, he could not have envisioned where God was going to take him or how God would use him to inspire others to fulfill God's purposes for their lives.

In his recently released e-book, The Unlikely Missionary: From Pew-Warmer to Poverty-Fighter*, Dan describes his transformation from "an ordinary Christian trying not to be lukewarm" to a man of great compassion for the least of these and desire to help them succeed in overcoming poverty. He tells that story through his journey to Africa with Five Talents International, an organization that fights poverty by providing business training and spiritual development to the poor in developing third world countries.

Dan humbly states that he's not a "powerhouse writer", but his authentic and conversational style makes The Unlikely Missionary a delightful, inspiring and easy read.  Each of the nine short chapters includes interesting stories with samples from his trip journal, and concludes with questions for reflection, further study and writing prompts, making it a valuable resource for bloggers and small group or individual study.

As I read, I underlined and annotated nearly every page. His concluding paragraph in chapter six is one that spoke directly to me as I work to write and edit my photography...

"...we should never think too much of our own creative efforts. Our part is to simply highlight the creativity of the Master Creator."

Dan's book is not a "how to be a missionary" manual. It's the story of a "normal dude" who wants to be used however God chooses, and in the telling of his story, his readers are encouraged to be open to God, as well. 

"You may not end up in Africa like I did. You may end up finding more purpose right at home in your own backyard or your office or your neighborhood or your school district. The location isn't as important as doing the things that will allow God to use you to the fullest." 

The Unlikely Missionary: From Pew-Warmer to Poverty-Fighter can be downloaded for only $4.99 here. 

About Dan King: Christ-follower. Husband. Father. Corporate training development guru. School of ministry and missions instructor. Social media editor for thehighcalling.org. Blogger at bibledude.net. Co-founder and media director for the activistfaith.org movement. Social media director for help end local poverty.

{*Dan King graciously provided a free copy for my review, but the opinions expressed here are my own. All quotes above are attributed to Dan King from The Unlikely Missionary: From Pew-Warmer to Poverty-Fighter}

{Photo} sunlight warming pews in the Belmont University bell tower chapel, 2009, and a small country church in rural south Florida, 2011

Weekend wanderings...

Weekends {are for} Wanderings on Pollywog Creek 

...looking back and catching up

Did y'all think I'd forgotten about "living in yellow"?  Not at all, I've just been living it with no time or energy to write about it. But it's important to me, so I intend to continue - hopefully before we leave fall behind and begin the season of "red and green".

On my list of tasks I'd failed to accomplish last week was a review of Dan King's (BibleDude.net) The Unlikely Missionary. I have time to do that this morning, but it deserves a week day post, so I'll save it for the week to come. In the meantime, I'll tell you that I loved it, so if you are one of the half dozen readers who log in on the weekend and are looking for an inspiring read, you will not be disappointed by purchasing  Dan's ebook.

One of the things Dan encourages in The Unlikely Missionary is for us to recognize that we don't need to leave home and go to Africa to be on mission. My daughter Emily is participating in the HelloSomebody campaign Hello Rwanda to feed and educate 100 boys now living on the streets...

Hello Rwanda Campaign from Hello Somebody on Vimeo.

If you are interested in helping Emily in this campaign by purchasing a HelloSomebody watch or for more information, please either leave a comment here or drop me an email (pollywogcreekporch@gmail.com) and Emily will contact you. 

As I sit in my the living room typing this post, Gavin's overnight bag, a pair shoes, and a backpack are piled on the floor next to me. Gavin's toothpaste and bottle of "Gummies" vitamins are on the counter. He was supposed to stay with me this morning while Kristin went to a large garage sale in Ft. Myers, but at the last minute, he decided he wanted to go with her and THEN come play back to play with mimi. I haven't looked in his overnight bag. For all I know, he's planning to stay a while and that would be perfectly fine with me. 

I'd love to know what you've got planned for your weekend, good friends.

{Photos}a fall morning wandering on Pollywog Creek

I want to be a rock star...

Some of my favorite people are rock stars. I want to be a rock star, too.

Rock stars cook, teach, visit the home-bound, write lovely letters, challenge creativity, and love on and care for the needy.

They write the books that stir up love and good deeds, and they "like" and send hugs and kisses.

They sing, laugh, wipe dirty noses, craft quilts, speak to one or thousands, love the unlovely, kiss boo-boos and fevered brows, sponsor children, paint and capture beauty, and pray in secret.

They pull weeds, change dirty diapers, scrub toilets, crochet prayer shawls, knit socks, and encourage where ever they are.

And  they do it without a grumble.

They are rock stars - standing on the Rock to Shine like a Star - loving, giving, writing and speaking the words of life to which they hold.  

"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life." ~ Philippians 2.14-15a NIV

As I count thanks with Ann in community today, I am grateful for..

...YOU - and all the ways you are a rock star, inspiring and encouraging your circle of influence 

...the good medicine of a cheerful heart and the friends who delivered with love and laughter

...a sweet morning with Addisyn

...a day trip with Louis and watching him play "Big Buck Hunter" with Mason and Austin {adorable haircuts}

...two Sunday mornings in a row for worship and fellowship {how I love the Body of Christ}

...answered prayers and meds that work {yes}

...music and those gifted to make it

...hot showers, clean sheets, soft pillows and heating pads

...bowls of fresh fruit on the kitchen counter

...the views out my windows

...a daughter still at home {truly a gift}

What gifts and rock stars are you counting with thanks today?

{Photos} from a morning to wander  

It's not my responsibility...

...at least not entirely, but it took me a while to see it. 

For several years, I've thoroughly enjoyed helping an older disabled friend with a shower and a few small chores once a week, but lately I've needed almost as much help as she does. Because of my own disabilities, I had to tell her this week that I would not be able to come.    

I could hear the disappointment in her voice, and I felt terrible that I couldn't help her with the things she was counting on me to do. I was equally disappointed for myself - I miss our time together - the stories, the laughter and prayers. 

Using some of the care giving skills I practiced as a professional nurse years ago has also helped me feel useful in this post-raising-children season I'm in.  It's not been easy for me to transition from feeling useful to feeling like a burden, even for what I hope is only temporary. 

I've also worried that it will be an inconvenience for others to pick up the slack in my absence. There aren't many men and women in the church who make themselves available to help others like my friend. 

Jane and Linda are two friends who've graciously helped when I couldn't, but maybe it's time the church assumes the responsibility that belongs to everyone.  

Caring for my friend is not my sole responsibility. Pure and undefiled religion is not a call reserved for a select few, but as long as I hold tight to that privilege and responsibility, others are denied the same blessings I've received and the church fails to recognize the responsibility that is hers corporately. 

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. ~ James 1.27

What do you think James 1.27 is saying to the church? 


What are some of the ways you and/or your church meet the needs of orphans and widows in your church and community? 

Photo:  a rose from our garden 

Weekends {are for} wanderings...

Weekend Wanderings on Pollywog Creek 

~ with photos that didn't make the cut

I don't remember sleeping last night - only endless painful hours of rearranging pillows and blankets and the heating pad - and the still dark hour when I woke Louis to help me out of bed to take meds and find comfort elsewhere.

But I've got it good. So. Very. Good.

So good, it's embarrassing. I have a clean dry bed, electricity and air-conditioning, running water (hot and plenty of it), access to health care and medicine for every need, a husband and daughter who wait on me, and pick up the slack, grandlittles to love on, and the best praying friends.

We have a stocked pantry and refrigerator, a house with more square footage than three adults need, and more books(a dozen Bibles or more) than we'll ever be able to read.

I'm rich and spoiled and I my heart is broken over the malnourished children and cholera house in Haiti and the crisis in the horn of Africa - embarrassed that I ever complain (even silently) about waiting in line to buy groceries or about the cost of gasoline or that it's too hot to leave my air-conditioned house to go outside. Embarrassing.

I'm thinking today about Ann's post yesterday and the resources she recommended. Like my friend, Margie, I just might order one of those cookbooks...and like Ann, slip out of my shoes...because of grace.

~ ~ ~

Yesterday I followed a Martha Stewart recipe to bake a fresh peach and blueberry pie, only I didn't have enough of the sweet Georgia peaches my friend, Jane, gave me so I supplemented with frozen peaches that probably didn't thaw adequately, and had to substitute corn starch for tapioca, and the store-bought pie crust fell apart. The end result was more like a peach-blueberry cobbler, so that's what I told everyone we were having, and we ate every last bite. Next time I'll use all fresh peaches, tapioca and home-made pastry and maybe it'll really be pie.

~ ~ ~

I must take a nap. I keep falling asleep at the computer with my fingers on the keyboard and then waking up to find a long row of sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss typed into this post, but before I do, would y'all please tell me what breaks your heart this day? Where do you see the richness of your life compared with poverty and suffering - and what do you think should be our response that truly makes a difference and eases the suffering?

Where no one sees...

"I just do what I'm told. They tell me to clean the bathrooms - I clean the bathrooms."

Smiling, as always, he waved his hand toward those entering the auditorium and leaned closer. "They have no idea what goes on behind the scenes - what it takes for the church to be ready for worship."



He would never say what I would have added, "I volunteer to do this every single Sunday, and yet they treat me like I'm a servant."

You know it's true. We complain about everything.

The room is too hot or too cold. We don't like the music. They ran out of bulletins. Someone forgot to buy flowers. There's candle wax on the carpet.



If I'm going to be a servant, should I also have to endure the ingratitude of those I serve?

"I've voluntarily cleaned bathrooms, too, but with much less joy and humility," I admitted, "Especially when I was scolded for not doing it correctly."



"I've heard that we'll know we are truly a servant when someone treats us like one," I continued.

"My behavior didn't betray me, but my heart has shamefully revealed just how lacking my servant attitude can be."



Turning his gaze toward the table of Communion elements he'd been responsible for preparing, he responded, "Some say they serve others for Jesus, but I say we serve others with Him."

"Jesus doesn't need me to do anything. I'm the one who needs Him."

Of course.

Serving in humility is not humility at all if I wash toilets or wash feet because I believe I"m doing it for Him, but when I know Jesus is already there and I'm simply invited - allowed even - to be down there with Him can I even come close to practicing true humility.



Humility is not in what I do - not even the cleaning of toilets is humble service if I think the Lord needs me, when I can't even be humble without Him.

Every Wednesday, Ann hosts "Walk with Him" - a community - all posting a spiritual practice that draws us nearer to God's heart. This week Ann asks us to consider the practice of humility. Would you join this community and share?



Photos: Beauty berry blooming and bearing fruit deep in the thickets where no one sees...

In the quiet...

...with an unusual abundance of contemplative moments - from backyard swinging to waiting room sitting - I've been reading and studying and listening and wondering.

And sometimes carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.



Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
~ Helen Lemmel

The "things of earth" can be heartbreakingly heavy at times.

As David Murray recently wrote in I'm suffering from sorrow overload, not only do we care about hurting people around us that we know and love well, technology brings an awareness of pain and brokenness and grief beyond our reach - and often I'm burdened by long lists of suffering people.

Sorrow overload, indeed.



When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
~ Psalm 34:17

In My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers wrote...

It is actually more important to be broken bread and poured-out wine in the area of intercession than in our personal contact with others.

And so I do the only thing I can with such sorrow - confident that my prayers are heard - I place these long lists of suffering people before the Lord - knowing that He is good and just and faithful and strong and mighty to save.  




And I pray I'll keep my eyes on Jesus - His mercies, His glory, His grace - and opportunities to be broken bread and poured-out wine in a season of contemplative moments.




(The grasshopper is for you, dear Allie.)

The gift of compassion...

...for two little boys.

One for each of them:

Guatemala ABCs: A Book About the People and Places of Guatemala - to read and learn about Diego's home

Window On The World - to know there are children like Diego all over the world who need prayer, who need Jesus, who need compassion

An inflatable globe - to trace the distance across the Gulf between us and Guatemala

A copy of Diego's first letter to us - colored drawings, slick with crayon wax, and a fingerprint we can touch

And the adorable Diego - the very same age as those two little boys - standing tall against the paint-pealed wall - his photo framed for each of them

The little boys will open their packages, inflate the globes and find the place Diego lives. We'll take a photo and print it off, draw pictures and send love in a letter - to Diego from Mason and Gavin and their papa and mimi.

And when grace and blessings are said over our food, and we light the last candle on our journey to Bethlehem, we'll pray all together for Diego and his family, grateful for the opportunity to nurture the gift of compassion in the hearts of those two little boys who call me mimi.

Child sponsorship, through various Christian organizations, has been a way of life for our family for over twenty years, but the inspiration for sponsoring a child as a Christmas gift for our grandchildren came as I traveled vicariously with Ann Voskamp to Guatemala with Compassion International  late this past summer.

If child sponsorship seems too overwhelming, there are still many other wonderful ways to give the "gift of compassion" to others this Christmas through the Gifts of Compassion Catalog - an on-line catalog of gift alternatives. No crowds, no lines, no stress, and no returns - just a gift that will help make a difference in the life of a child living in one of the poorest communities of the world. Gifts that help to provide clean drinking water, medical treatment, disaster relief, food supplies and much, much more for Compassion-assisted children and their families.

There is a gift and price-range for nearly every budget. Gifts include mosquito nets, soccer balls, chickens, goats, water filters, farm equipment, clean water and more, and range in prices from $10 to $5000.

Meet real needs and bring real joy with a Gift of Compassion to someone you love this Christmas.

Abounding in every good work...

Marketing is not my bent. I'd rather give you everything I own than try to sell you anything, but the opportunity to partner with World Vision was different. All that was asked of me was to host a party, share the blessings of child sponsorship and encourage others to sponsor one of five children. There'd be nothing in it for me (I decided from the beginning to give the hostess gifts away), but the joy of knowing it would all be for Him.

I thought it would be easy to find sponsors for children living in poverty, but only a few people were even willing or able to come.

I'll bring the party to you. I offered those who'd declined the original party invitation, and two of the children were finally chosen.

Emanuel from the Dominican Republic is adorable. He will be three years old on Christmas Day. We fell in love with him the minute we saw his picture and I was thrilled when he was the first to be sponsored. I dearly love the home that chose Emanuel. He will be prayed for and loved deeply for years to come.

Kaushal is a handsome twelve year old who lives in the slums of India. I could not be happier that he was next to be chosen. His sponsor is one of the sweetest friends we made after moving here over twenty years ago. She is a wonderful teacher who dearly loves children. She and Kaushal will be blessed.

For days after Emanuel and Kaushal were chosen, I grieved that there were three more children I'd been entrusted with that were still in need of a sponsor. How could I let them down?

I carried the burden of failure, wondering what I could have done to encourage others to sponsor - until I read this:

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

It wasn't my burden to carry - to move the hearts of God's people - for God loves a cheerful giver, not a manipulated, pressured giver.

Lord, you know whose heart has been tendered - who has decided in their heart to give, I prayed with the three children's pictures and folders on the table before me.




Later that week, I tucked the children's folders in my Bible before leaving for church. Maybe I could mention them in class, I thought.

As though the pastor and I had planned it that way, the message in church (before class) was on money and giving. I, of course, knew differently. It was clear to me that though I was timid about bringing up the subject of child sponsorship, I'd leave knowing I'd be disobedient to do otherwise.

Before class began and as people entered the room, I asked the teacher for permission. I took the folders out of my Bible and placed them on the empty chair next to me. Immediately one of my classmates picked up the one on the top. "God has been dealing with my heart about this for a while now," she spoke with a grin. "After Bob's sermon this morning, I know this is what I am supposed to do."

Six year old Keylin's folder was the one she had chosen. Keylin lives in Honduras in a poor rural community. We share the same birthday, Keylin and I, so I'd been praying extra hard for her. She is the same age with the very same birthday as her new sponsor's granddaughter, too. We rejoiced at the visible, providential hand of God that brought Keylin and her sponsor together.

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, 

“He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever.”
2 Corinthians 9:6-9 ESV



There are still two children I am praying for sponsors: Nine year old Amos in Malawi, and six year old Akudzwe in Zimbabwe. I'll be returning their folders to World Vision the end of this month if sponsors are not found for them soon.

I share that with you today, in case God has been speaking to your heart, too.

Full Circle...

At the heart of frugality is contentment, don't you think?

And generosity, as well. The more I save, the more I have to give away.

The more I have to give away, the greater my joy.

The greater my joy, the more my heart swells with gratitude and I'm back to a greater contentment with the abundant grace and blessings of God. 

So, if contentment with generosity brings joy and gratitude and ultimately greater contentment, it seems to me that I deprive myself - not by living frugally - but when I avoid faces and stories, and offer numerous lame reasons why I can't respond.    

Where are the flowers...

As I contemplate the "misty" brevity of time in this my three score year (sounds so much younger than sixty, don't you think?), I have to question the time spent here on Pollywog Creek - choosing what I hope are the best of my photos and a few choice words. And I wonder if I do my readers an injustice by rarely, if ever, displaying those "ugly swamps", "vile weeds", and "sharp thorns" where "life's mercies" are uncovered 'round the pond, along the creek and in the fields. Pollywog Creek is not paradise, as those of you who have wandered about these five acres know.

Kind folks, who've ventured down the pages of Pollywog Creek, have driven past the unsightly migrant camps and piles of trash and overgrown ditches of our rural community and as they've turned their cars down the shell marl driveway that leads to our green sun-bleached front door, I know they have wondered, "where are the flowers?"

Don't get me wrong. We are immensely grateful for this slice of earth where God has allowed us to settle and for the modest home that protects us from the scorching heat and swamp-land critters and where we've raised our children and cared for those we love. But it's not the "paradise" my photos might imply.

It's not my intent to hide those "ugly swamps" and "vile weeds", but out of gratitude for all the Lord has given us and a respect for my neighbors, I'll likely never point to them here. You'll just have to know that what you see on Pollywog Creek are glimpses of God's glory in the small things - in the weeds, and the pond muck, and tangled web of vines in the thickets and the intricate details of insects and wildflowers and zinnias.

He truly makes all things beautiful in its time.

God kindly put a simple camera in my hand to cultivate gratitude in my heart and "an eye for life's mercies." I'd love to know what He is showing you.

I'm humbled by the beauty of servanthood on the faces of those who are caring for Nabakoza and Betty and so many others like her, please go here and here and here and rejoice and pray and give.

Worth repeating...

August 9, 2010 In the backyard at dusk... It's worth repeating...

...you'll know you're a servant when you don't mind being treated like one.

HT-Chris Brauns

In just two hours a week....

I can...

...be her friend

...take her dog for a walk

...help her shower

...wash her back and feet

...warm a towel in the dryer

...rub her back with lotion

...change the sheets on her bed

...share life

...pray

For just a little bit longer I can...

...take her to the beauty parlor

...mail her packages

...decorate her Christmas tree

...help her with her medications

...shop

Are the needs of the elderly, disabled or sick in your church, your neighborhood or your community being met? Do you know?

Do you have time? Do you care?

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

~ Matthew 25:31-46 (ESV)

Pastor Chris Brauns looks at Matthew 25 and Haiti. It's a MUST read for all of us.

What I've been up to...

Delighting in an abundance of zinnias (if the cat doesn't eat them first)...

And the rusty lyonia under the pine trees in the pasture...

 

And an entertaining almost-three-year-old donning santa hats and riding a stick reindeer...

 

And celebrating that same impish almost-three-year old's birthday...

 

And crafting ornaments for teen moms to go with little books from MOPS ...

 

And wondering and wandering about our Pollywog Creek...

 

We saw the painted bunting this week, but he chose to perch on the shaded side of the feeder making it impossible to capture his brilliant plumage. I'm fairly confident he'll soon return, and like last year, bring the missus back with him. I'll then have weeks of more favorable conditions for better photos.

The zinnias? My grandcat Nicky has an appetite for zinnias, roses and tomatoes, and if any of them are in the house where he can get to them, he delights in nibbling on and destroying them all. I've resorted to giving him his own vase of flowers in the hope that he'll leave mine alone.

Emily's cat Lucy would rather dismantle the Christmas tree. During the day, she curls up under the tree to nap, but while we are asleep or away from home, she pulls ornaments off the tree and deposits them throughout the house.

"Time flies" may be the most over-used cliché {redundant, I know}, but there's little else that more accurately describes the pace at which the days and weeks and years move from one to the next. Wasn't it just yesterday that we welcomed the new year?

We are still three weeks away from turning the page on 2009 and the reflection most of us do as we begin a new year, but the following quote from Tozer in today's devotional resonated with me not only about Christmas, but about those new year reflections, too.

It does seem strange that so many persons become excited about Christmas and so few stop to inquire into its meaning; but I suppose this odd phenomenon is quite in harmony with our unfortunate human habit of magnifying trivialities and ignoring matters of greatest import. The same man who will check his tires and consult his road map with utmost care before starting on a journey may travel for a lifetime on the way that knows no return and never once pause to ask whether or not he is headed in the right direction.

As good as it may seem to have well thought-out plans for the holidays, an organized to-do list, and a detailed list of goals for the new year, nothing is more important than pausing to ask, "Am I headed in the right direction?"